Hookers or Cake

Where the self obsessed get serious about silly

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Mahalo! Jade Bos here.

I'm a writer/illustrator/appliance repairman for hire.

Email: bosjade @ gmail dot com --------------------------------

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  • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

    ------------------------------------ There was an old picture of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

    ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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    • January 24, 2010 12:07 pm
      I was at the liquor store. Filling my cart for a surprise birthday party.
After fussing with 12 year old bottles of this and that for a couple of lifetimes
I went to check out.
But there was no one
No one but an open door
Walking through the door I was surprised to find a field of cherry blossoms and an old man wandering off in the distance. He wore a flowing kimono and jingly jangly bells.
“HEY ED!” I yelled after him, “Wha… who the fuck is minding the store!”
He turned and waved and then he turned back to wanderin off over some hill.
I stood there for a bit. I could hear the birds chirping and smell the fresh spring breeze. Well, free booze I thought. But when I turned back around to go into the store, there was nothing but endless rolling black space and  a lot of stars.
“Surprise!” said the cosmos, “Surprise!” echoed the voice in my head.

      I was at the liquor store. Filling my cart for a surprise birthday party.

      After fussing with 12 year old bottles of this and that for a couple of lifetimes

      I went to check out.

      But there was no one

      No one but an open door

      Walking through the door I was surprised to find a field of cherry blossoms and an old man wandering off in the distance. He wore a flowing kimono and jingly jangly bells.

      “HEY ED!” I yelled after him, “Wha… who the fuck is minding the store!”

      He turned and waved and then he turned back to wanderin off over some hill.

      I stood there for a bit. I could hear the birds chirping and smell the fresh spring breeze. Well, free booze I thought. But when I turned back around to go into the store, there was nothing but endless rolling black space and a lot of stars.

      “Surprise!” said the cosmos, “Surprise!” echoed the voice in my head.

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