People can be quite awful sometimes
and sometimes those people are us
A life of endless propaganda
for some horseshit dictator
infinite cosmic beings
trying to make a quick buck
That’s how the Buddha started out. Enlightenment was a get rich scheme he invented. The problem was that no one was interested. The Buddha was ahead of his time. So, taking a cue from some assholes he’d met on holiday in Russia he decided to create a need for enlightenment. Then could sell the bananas out of it. He told everyone that life was suffering and to prove it he showed them some slides of sexually transmitted diseases and a short film of puppies being hurt.
It worked. Everyone was totally bummed out. So then he set out to cheer them up by teaching them how to meditate. The meditation just bummed em out further and made their knees and backs hurt. After they got done with that the Buddha made them some tea and told some funny stories. Then everyone actually felt pretty good.
Turns out all you had to do was to arbitrarily suffer for no reason and then if you do that for a half hour in the morning and then a half hour at night the rest of the day is fucking delightful.