Hookers or Cake - elpasadoo: I cannot even breathe I can’t stop...

I'm too wacky to be hip.

--------------------------------

The best of Hookers or Cake

------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

-----------------------------------

-------------------------------------- more fun categories

--------------------------------------

----------------------------------------- some tumblr friends

-----------------------------------------

----------------------------------------- some writing

-----------------------------------------

Early Onset of Night

----------------------------------------

pictures

----------------------------------------

Mr. King was here

----------------------------------------

Follow HookersOrCake on Twitter

tell me lies! Submit stuff Send me an email

January 24, 2011 8:59 pm

elpasadoo:

I cannot even breathe

I can’t stop masturbating! KILL ME NOW THIS IS THE PEAK OF ALL EXISTENCE!!!!
(Source: brownbeets)

65 notes Filed under: vid, best sex ever!,.

∞ Next post Previous
1. intpussy liked this
2. atheist-mingle reblogged this from hookersorcake
3. jesuisglencoco reblogged this from brownbeets
4. notaloneonmyown liked this
5. houseoforange liked this
6. jax1234567890 reblogged this from thecupboard
7. mrthell reblogged this from hookersorcake
8. thecupboard reblogged this from katelynfarriella and added:
  
  katelynfarriella YESSSS BESSSTTT.
9. nochymozg liked this
10. kohlsmearedeyes reblogged this from gastrocinema and added:
  
  I’m laughing while my stomach is growling. Thats never happened to me before. DAMN YOU PAULA DEAN!!!
11. jscottgrand liked this
12. redroomrecords reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
  
  BAAAAAAH! Paula Dean you done it again…
13. rockandrora liked this
14. incrementalchanges liked this
15. conservativebrew liked this
16. mylifetheultimaterollercoaster reblogged this from brownbeets and added:
  
  This was so funny, yet sooooo disgusting, but...stop laughing. “It’s Paula Dean Ya’ll!”
17. mylifetheultimaterollercoaster liked this
18. unamazing liked this
19. zingbrit reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
  
  Science has gone to far. The woman must be stopped.
20. jazminlandia liked this
21. swallowtheuniverse reblogged this from katelynfarriella
22. katelynfarriella reblogged this from peacepunx and added:
  
  NICOLE. WATCH THIS. “we’re gonna be arrested”
23. katelynfarriella liked this
24. findingthesilverlining reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
  
  funniest thing of my life.
25. mazycat liked this
26. j-v-f liked this
27. charleyfords reblogged this from gastrocinema and added:
  
  what just happened
28. sing-me-a-rainbow liked this
29. hurpaderp liked this
30. peacepunx reblogged this from jessicat and added:
  
  LITERALLY CRIED.
31. rrrick liked this
32. booksonyourshelves liked this
33. jessicat reblogged this from hookersorcake
34. goodforapoke liked this
35. larsvonbeer reblogged this from gastrocinema and added:
  
  Complete and utter beauty.
36. larsvonbeer liked this
37. sworn-to-fun reblogged this from hookersorcake
38. gastrocinema reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
  
  This is the best thing on the internet RIGHT NOW.
39. dysiad liked this
40. yossarianhunter liked this
41. vanth liked this
42. fakedada reblogged this from hookersorcake
43. fakedada liked this
44. rachelchick reblogged this from hookersorcake
45. jimmythemustascheman liked this
46. traceylumpkins reblogged this from hookersorcake
47. comedancing liked this
48. chaosandfiction reblogged this from hookersorcake
49. chaosandfiction liked this
50. douchewad liked this
51. Show more notesLoading...