Hookers or Cake

Where the self obsessed get serious about silly

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Mahalo! Jade Bos here.

I'm a writer/illustrator/appliance repairman for hire.

Email: bosjade @ gmail dot com --------------------------------

  • Short Stories
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  • Illustration
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  • The best of Hookers or Cake
    • ------------------------------------- How this blog got its name

    ------------------------------------ There was an old picture of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

    ----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

    ------------------------------------ more fun categories

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    •  ----------------------------------------- some fun tumblr's

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    •  ----------------------------------------- some writing

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  • Josh Luft
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  • I'm a Veronica
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  • Early Onset of Night
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    pictures

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  • Mr. King was here
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  • Aloha Friday
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    • August 29, 2010 1:51 pm
      I am starting a new business in which I will teach people how to shoot guns with their feet. This way a person will be able to SHOOT 4 GUNS AT ONCE!!!  I learned the trick from the lowland gorillas of the Congo. In exchange I taught the gorillas how to make a simple apple crisp using a clay oven. It was surprisingly quite delicious but then I made the mistake of mentioning that it’d be even better if we had some ice cream. The gorillas then insisted that I teach them how to make ice cream. I tried to explain that this was impossible, that it required ice… we’d need electricity… and they wouldn’t hear of it. I barely escaped with my life. So now I’ll make my millions with my new business and I’ll return to the jungle with a diesel generator. I will become a god. The Emperor of Ice Cream! View high resolution

      I am starting a new business in which I will teach people how to shoot guns with their feet. This way a person will be able to SHOOT 4 GUNS AT ONCE!!!

       I learned the trick from the lowland gorillas of the Congo. In exchange I taught the gorillas how to make a simple apple crisp using a clay oven. It was surprisingly quite delicious but then I made the mistake of mentioning that it’d be even better if we had some ice cream. The gorillas then insisted that I teach them how to make ice cream. I tried to explain that this was impossible, that it required ice… we’d need electricity… and they wouldn’t hear of it. I barely escaped with my life.

      So now I’ll make my millions with my new business and I’ll return to the jungle with a diesel generator. I will become a god. The Emperor of Ice Cream!

      Filed under:  Wallace Stevens, silly stories, 76543210,.
    • July 13, 2010 11:20 am
      Wallace Stevens was a extraordinary poet and insurance executive. And though the image above contains no words or physical likeness of Mr. Stevens, I would be remiss if I did not admit that the resemblance is startling. View high resolution

      Wallace Stevens was a extraordinary poet and insurance executive.

      And though the image above contains no words or physical likeness of Mr. Stevens, I would be remiss if I did not admit that the resemblance is startling.

      Filed under:  Wallace Stevens, sex toy reveiws and nature photography, inspiration,.
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