Hookers or Cake - (sung as an old gospel song) I flash my tits to...

I'm too wacky to be hip.

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------------------------------------ There was a large painting of Evel Knievel shaking hands with Richard Nixon. It hung in the Mayors office. Late one evening after everyone went home. I took it down to the lab. I zoomed in on Evel’s left eye a 100x and enhanced it. It was an address. I went to the address. It was a modest, 1970’s style, split level ranch home in the suburbs.

----------------------------------- Inside I found a dead parrot lying on a waterbed. I revived the parrot with some saltines and adrenaline. We became good friends. The parrots name was Randy. One night a few years later while Randy and me played Gin Rummy, he sang me a song about a fire. The title of this blog was never mentioned but I sensed it, and Randy confirmed it by giving me ‘THE LOOK’.

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October 26, 2010 10:31 pm

(sung as an old gospel song)

I flash my tits to the poor huddled masses

I wash my ass on the shores of Galilee

I make faux lesbian toons for Jesus

Ohhh lord don’t ya know its hard being me.

147 notes Filed under: If Katy Perry put on a shirt and no one was around to see it - would she still exist?, bestofhoc, shitty poetry, inspiration,.

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  wow katy! thats how you tryna get down?
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  SO BIG. OH, IT’S SO BIG. =)))) CAN YOU DO IT KATY?
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  Nah, I don’t really feel like it.
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  It’s not even about the blow-job joke. I LOVE a good blow-job joke! It’s about having your wedding in a country you have...
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  “What.a.twat.” = Elephant’s thoughts.
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